Just a write while soothing my soul to tunes

When you are lost and I look for you I get lost too. I miss the way that we used to be. We were one, a whole. Together the moon and stars were not too far away. Love was a word that we used to use, not anymore. I lost sight of who we were and why we were that way. I miss the old me that I was before you came.

When the moon shines at night, I sit and think about how once you made me so whole and leave me so empty. I am struck with sadness. The tears are hard to hold back and the lump in my throat is hard to swallow. These feelings are not because I miss you, but because I failed myself. I gave you too much of me and left nothing for myself, so when it was time for me to walk away, I had to hold on because that was all I had.

How could I think that someone like me would ever last with someone like you? Your life is far from what I want mine to be. Foolishly, I believed somehow, deep down, I would be able to compromise.

How childish that was. To change who I am for you defies the whole point of my being. Who I have become has been through learning that I should make myself happy not someone else. Yet, I let my feelings take the backseat so I could try and make you happy. Now I know, and deep down knew all along, that there was no way to make you happy. You are not happy with yourself, so you can't be happy with anyone else.

I lost myself for a while. Now, I am walking away so I can grasp hold of me and what's right for everyone. You chose to drag me along and I do not blame you, I let you do it. Now, I am leaving with a smile knowing that you will be just as miserable with me gone as when I was there and I will be happier because I do love myself.

I do not want anything bad for you, or to cause you pain. That is what makes me a bigger person than you. I will however, not feel bad when the next girl does the same thing to you that you did to me. Karma is a bitch, and you will learn that on God's time.

Until Then,

Blondie